True Love??

Filed under: Icky Icky Poo > New World >

We bet his first wife is crying in Heaven after hearing this news!

John Rolfe, well-known for planting the first tobacco crops in the New World, is marrying the daughter of a local Indian chief. As if marrying the enemy isn’t bad enough, his fiancé isn’t even Christian!!

Here’s an excerpt from a letter he wrote to the father of the bride:

“Motivated by the honor of our country, for the Glory of God, for my own salvation… namely PocaHOntas, to whom my hearty and best thoughts are, and have been a long time so entangled, and enthralled in so intricate a labyrinth that I was even a-wearied to unwind myself thereout.”

Barf. We all know he just wants some ass without looking like a sinner! Say your prayers, Johnny!